What if?

I find it interesting how life follows such interesting cycles. It always seems to change and yet upon closer inspection, it's always the same... just a different form. We are a herd species. We have been since the moment we graced this planet. You can almost imagine the small tribes that huddled together in caves and under trees hoping to gain safety in numbers against the endless predators and natural processes that keep earth's population balanced. We fed each other, groomed one another, and fought for dominance against one another... seeking to find our place in this world. Our alliance was our safety net against a hostile world that scared us.

It hasn't changed much. We still cling desperately to small tribes. First our family, then our friends, then to whatever groups make us feel wanted and safe. Religion, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, politics... these are all different names for the tribes we hold tight to. Hoping to find our place and find safety in numbers. We cling in fear against that which scares us, makes us uncomfortable. We define "us" as "not them" and circle the wagons against these perceived threats.

It's sad... for all the centuries upon this planet, all the advances and control that we've garnered over the "hostile" natural world...we seemed to have gained very little ground over our fears. We still need to draw lines and define the enemies. It's sad to see so much wasted energy. If we even took half the time we devote to judging, controlling, and hating one another and spent it trying to understand one another.... this world would be such a different place. We would learn to see the similarities... the "larger tribe". We would see that all people share the same life... the same needs. The need to love, to be loved. The need to have a safe and stable home. The need to eat nourishing foods, drink clean water, and be healthy enough to live long productive lives. The need to feel like there is a place for them in this world. This is a universal. A constant. From the gay couple down the street, to the Muslim family across the world. From the Republican senator to the homeless man who begs you for your change. The man and the woman. This is your tribe. A world tribe.

It doesn't stop at the basic needs either. We are an emotional bunch as well. We all feel sad when we are rejected. We all feel hate when we are scared. We all want to lash out when we are angry.  We all want to be wanted and respected. One can even find it in "evil" men. Gang members, drug dealers, murderers...all acting out of fear and the need to feel in control. All of them seeking to find their place. Their role. And as much as we don't want to see it...they, just like us. are loved by someone. There is love in all the dark places and dirty corners... and the undeniable constants remain.

And it even extends further than that... it extends to the nature around you. Their needs are the same... from the lowly chicken to the majestic eagle...from the cow to the lion. All one tribe. One binding balance.

The questions I ask tonight are my constant as well...Why do we spend so much time looking for the differences? Why settle for the primitive hostility and fear of our ancient past? Why not spend that time learning about the people we fear... find ourselves in them if just for a moment? For through understanding what scares us, we learn about ourselves. We learn not to fear. We become empowered, enlightened... gaining new respect and deeper love for the larger tribe we all belong to. Ah... maybe someday.

What if matter simply isn’t necessary to existence?

This is the beginning of the thought process that started the need for this blog. I was relaying yet another complicated train of thought to my patient, captive husband last night when he suggested that other people might like to be privy to my madness. In truth, I think he’s hoping that I might exhaust myself in blogged diatribes so that for once I might get some sleep. I am soooo much more pleasant when I sleep.

So what the hell do I mean by matter being not necessary? It’s a complex ride to this conclusion but if you can bear with me, I promise it will make some semblance of sense in the end.
It occurred to me last night, as I fought my blurry, tired eyes, that I have always been aware of static in my vision. If you have no idea what I mean, try looking at a white wall for a few seconds and relax your eyes. Try and be aware of the tiny dancing pixel-like dots that seem to appear and disappear in your vision. You can also close your eyes and press your hands gently on your closed eyelids. If I’m right, complicated static and fractal patterns appear. With that in mind, coupled with a history of migraines, I started thinking of my vision in relation to LCD screens with my brain acting as the computer telling which pixels to display what colors.

Wait just a second… wtf? Where do the migraines come in? 
Migraines tend to act like a shit storm in the brain. They activate all different parts at inappropriate times causing nausea, sensitivity, pain, and in some lucky individuals, me, they trigger visual and spatial hallucinations. I often see oil slick-like dots in my vision that eventually merge to form a kind of blindness that is a mesh of color with no depth perception. Often times during the attack, I will even experience “Alice in Wonderland” syndrome where I alternately feel large and small in relation to things around me. This is similar to the distortions a stroke victim might experience. (And you non-migraine people thought it was just a headache!)

Now the next stop on my train of thought…. Physics.
Physics has gotten exciting as of late. It’s not your high school physics anymore. It’s more like a sci-fi movie these days. Every day scientists are breaking down the old beliefs about time and space. For instance, did you know that science has determined that it’s not only possible that other dimensions exist…it’s probable? Or that science has made teleportation actually feasible in a manner of speaking? Or even that matter may be made up of vibrating “strings” at the subatomic level? The latter revelation makes up the laymen’s version of “String Theory” and is actually the next part of my theoretical journey.

So why do we need strings? What if matter is simply energy vibrating at different frequencies that our brain perceives as solid? We rely entirely on our brains to understand the nature of our reality so what’s to say that there’s more than that? What if we aren’t even moving, but like an animation on an LCD screen , we appear to move because our brains evolved to process the perceived motion?

What is matter anyway?
Just another way to explain the difference between the space between objects, another way to describe the nature of what we perceive in individual objects? In truth, it’s been wrongly understood by the general population even today. Most people look at a table and see a solid, impenetrable object. But it’s not solid. It’s actually made up of mostly space. The space between subatomic particles. Huge spanning distances relating only to the kind of math you see in to planetary distances. In fact, the table only appears solid due to the very strong energetic bonds between these particles. But what if the particles aren’t solid? What if at the smallest level, they are merely energy? Simply energy.

So there’s the full journey. And that, my dear, is what I think about at 1 o’clock in the morning. Actually, that’s the kind of stuff I think about all the time, hence my hubby’s need for me to blog. That way I can make other people’s brains hurt besides his.